Random Rants
Pre-Christmas Rant
As Christmas is only 9 days away, I felt that this week's rant should be holiday-themed. But
what to write about? The idea finally hit me while shopping for presents last Tuesday. Christmas
markets. Christmas markets would be a good topic.
Christmas markets seem to be particular to the German speaking world. At any rate, I haven't seen
them anywhere else. So what is a Christmas market? Well, as the name says, it's a market. A market
with stands selling Christmas ornaments, potential presents as well as sweets, mulled wine and the
like. There are also carousels and everything is decorated in keeping with the spirit of the season.
The most famous one of these markets is probably the Christchild Market
in Nuremberg, but Christmas markets can be found in any sizeable German town. The one in my hometown,
Bremen, is as nice as any of them, despite the crappy website.
Like the holiday itself, everybody seems to love Christmas markets. Every day, busloads of tourists
visit the major markets, preferably those in atmospheric medieval towns. Last Tuesday, while
strolling over the Bremen Christmas market, I heard about as many people speaking Dutch as were
speaking German.
I'm no exception here, I like Christmas markets as much as the next person. I lovee the tiny hut
next to the Roland monument that sells those intricate wooden toys from the Ore Mountains,
choirs of black-clad carolers, whole orchestras of chubby-faced angels, groups of playing bambis,
handcarved light arches. Relics from Christmasses past, as nostalgic and familiar as my grandmother's
living room. I love the jewellery stands with their amulets and pendants of heavy silver, and I buy
myself a new trinket each and every year. I love the place that sells handmade leather belts, better
and cheaper than anywhere else in the town.
But, as with every good thing, too many Christmas markets can be bad. And in the last ten years,
Germany has seen a veritable inflation of Christmas markets. Every small town, every village now
has a market of its own. There are three local Christmas markets within a 5 kilometer radius
from my home. I used to visit at least one of them every year, but now I've stopped. Because it's
just not worth it. Instead of handcarved wooden toys from the Ore Mountains, the local markets
have badly painted plaster angels and pott-ugly window ornaments, made by half-talented
housewives who consider themselves folk artists. The quality is just not there.
Uninteresting as the offerings of many small-town Christmas markets may be, there's at least a
shred of originality in them. Which can't be said for the Christmas markets that have been
springing up in malls lately. Most German shopping malls are ugly anyway, with all the charm of
factory halls. The only reason that shoppers like them is that they've never seen how nice a mall
can look. But in the four weeks before Christmas, it's even worse.
Case in point: Weserpark,
Bremen's largest mall. Even under ordinary circumstances, it's not a very atmospheric place. In
fact it looks more like a hospital than a mall. But in December they always have a Christmas
market. Which means that the tennants start selling the same crap they usually sell in their
shops on the aisles as well. In addition, Weserpark has the silliest commercial Christmas
decoration I've ever seen (or rather had last year, since I haven't been there this year yet).
Said Christmas decoration consist of manger scenes reenacted with discarded department store
mannequins. Some of the mannequins are supposed to be animated, so they're mechanically waving
an arm or nodding their heads without rhyme or reason. The last time I saw something like that
was 20 years ago at the Fairytale Amusement Park
in Verden, and it was lame even back then.
So what does all that tell us? That Christmas is good, but consumerism is bad. Which we probably
knew already. So why do we continue to support it?
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